Mums are flawed creatures. We see faults most clearly with those we live most closely. Yet, we are encouraged by both scripture and secular society to love and celebrate Mothers, for they are marvellous.
As a small child, it\u2019s normal to think that your family is, well, normal. You love your family unit because you can\u2019t help it. Because they first loved us. Attachment leads to affection which leads to love. Mum is your superhero – she considers your artwork genius, knows just how you like your lunchbox, and is the perfect lap to cry on.
As your world grows to encompass school friends and neighbours, play-dates and sleepovers, you begin to realise that other households do things differently. Different numbers of siblings or parents, different behavioural expectations, different smells (yes, smells. Do you remember houses having different smells? Not bad, just different). And as we see different behaviour in other Mums, we re-evaluate our own in light of that. Some things remain great. Some, while still normal for you, are less than ideal. It might be the way she folds t-shirts, or doesn\u2019t enjoy cooking, or lets your little sister get away with murder. \u201cIf she changed the way she did those things, she\u2019d be a \u2018better\u2019 mum.\u201d Perhaps her failings might be a tendency to criticise others, to gossip, to turn a blind eye when it shouldn\u2019t be turned. The closer we get to other families, like with a best friend or a serious dating relationship, the more astute our observations can become.
The Bible abounds in examples of motherhood, both great and awful. The good ones we hear about often: Eve, Sarah, Hannah, Rachel, Rebekah, Elizabeth, Mary, Naomi. They are the women we name our daughters for. But what about Athaliah and Herodias (murderers), Jezebel and Maacah (idolaters), not to mention Lot\u2019s salty wife, and his daughters who went on to become mothers by him through their own deception.
So we keep these examples of female behaviour in our minds, for when we require them. In ourselves, or in a spouse. We aim to replicate the good of our own examples and improve on the not so good.
Where does this leave our own Mum? What then do we do with this woman who was the epitome of childish perfection, and whom we still love? In fact, It\u2019s not even her fault that she\u2019s not the same as she once was. It\u2019s us who have changed, who have stretched our boundaries of understanding, who have this burden of knowledge and opinion. Which leaves us a choice to make. Forgive. Or resent.
For some, the decision is so easy they never even remember making it. She\u2019s Mum. And so they pass through that invisible barrier from blind adoration to mature affection like snapping their fingers. Perhaps she quietly notices the change, perhaps not.
For others it may be a period of evaluation, acknowledging the teaching of scripture to \u201cHonour your father and mother\u201d (Ex 20:12, Eph 6:2), wrestling with the hurts she has caused, intentional or not. Weeks, or even years go by, while maintaining a cordial, genial relationship. You might be such a good actor that she doesn\u2019t even know you\u2019re wrestling. Having your own children can encourage a resolution, along with a maturing Pre-frontal cortex (usually around age 28).
Then there are those who find they cannot, will not, forgive their Mother for being imperfect. The reasons for this are myriad, and may involve direct sinful behaviour on Mum\u2019s part, or simply behaviour which a child considers so unacceptably bad they will not allow the relationship to continue. That\u2019s not an easy place to come to.
As an adult, we have Mums in our lives that we know from a different perspective. If we aren\u2019t one ourselves, it\u2019s likely we still share a home with one, but as a spouse. They\u2019re also our peers and colleagues at the very least, not to mention sisters in Christ. As the relationship we have with Mums changes from a position of child-like obedience to a position of mutual maturity, so our understanding changes again. There are still faults to be seen, but we\u2019re a little less objective. Remember 1 Peter 4:8 \u201cLove covers over a multitude of sins\u201d? Be on your guard that love won\u2019t \u2018overlook a multitude of sins\u2019 too. It\u2019s so easy for us to make excuses when it comes to personal holiness, in ourselves or others: \u201cI\u2019m SO tired because I have small children\u201d; \u201cWe\u2019re already committed in other community activities\u201d; \u201cShe\u2019s a good person, it\u2019s her business what she does with her \u2018me\u2019 time\u201d.
It\u2019s up to each of us to encourage the Mums in our community to be loving Jesus foremost. That\u2019s what will make them the best Mother they can be. It\u2019s more important than kids. It\u2019s more important than husbands. Be wise in how you have those conversations with them, as is fitting to your relationship. Advice is not always taken in the spirit which it is given. But be prepared to have them just the same. We Mums know we\u2019re not perfect, though hearing it from someone else can be hard to swallow.
This Mothers\u2019 Day, please pray.
Thank God for your mum. Whether she\u2019s around, or not. She may have passed away.
Pray for the Mums who have broken relationships with their kids. No matter whose \u2018fault\u2019 it was, their hearts hurt.
Pray for the Mums who have little ones. They\u2019re working hard to keep going.
Pray for the Mums who have adult children. For mutual love and respect while allowing a difference of opinion.
Pray for the Mums who have said farewells to children through death or surrender.
We could all do with God\u2019s help to forgive and love our Mums more. The parent Mum, the spouse Mum, the friend Mum. Love them by desiring their sanctification more than their mothering qualities. Both are good, but one is best.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mums are flawed creatures. We see faults most clearly with those we live most closely. Yet, we are encouraged by both scripture and secular society to love and celebrate Mothers, for they are marvellous. As a small child, it\u2019s normal to think that your family is, well, normal. You love your family unit because you… Continue reading On Mothers’ Day<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"activitypub_content_warning":"","activitypub_content_visibility":"","activitypub_max_image_attachments":4,"activitypub_interaction_policy_quote":"anyone","activitypub_status":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[9,3,61],"tags":[89,86,85,87,88],"class_list":["post-1720","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christian","category-family","category-love","tag-forgive","tag-love","tag-mothersday","tag-mum","tag-parenting","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1RxuW-rK","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1720","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1720"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1720\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2057,"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1720\/revisions\/2057"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1720"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1720"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gearfamily.net\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1720"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}